Autistic Burnout, Shutdown, and Social Hangover

Burn out is crippling and regressive . Any and all physical maladies are exacerbated . Emotional shut down and withdrawl . A friend misunderstood me and FREAKED out ! Took it to mean I was actively underminiing their business , with malicious intent . Got her husband mad at me and came to my house banging on the door to confront me , yikes. .F$%$ Everyone !

Im in a critical burnout where i actually dont know after 3 years if i will ever get back my functions.

Once i was blessed with knowledge of autistic burnout.. i began listening to others And that really helped. Especially with Gentle toned voices.. learning of all the truths was like Answers.. to so many questions.

Realized no matter how hard i was trying .. certain things are just gone and having a child with social problems as well only exasperates the conditions…

Figured out to limit Hard routines around good.. like having fruit i like and Thing in can make that are healthy and nutrias.. not eating meat or dairy helped with body pains..

Thinking if ways to get me excited about an avoidant task.. like watching a specific show only when im cleaning.. so i get excited to turn on the show and clean id just the routine with it.. So it helps cancel the avoidant … having songs as alarms to keep me On track of time..

Im creating dos and donts that work for me.. and Expressing truths about my struggles (started with strangers.. )

Im trying to reset my rythyms by relying on natural lighting ..

Even when im scared .. i tell the truth cuz Masking obviously hurt me long term.

I try to Listen to music i love or inspires me to dance or sing. Both break up hardened cortizol and vibrate nervous systems

Focusing on Things that i avoid and asking why .. typically reveals a trauma. I focus heavily on my behavior or body.. (one i cried for an hour because i heard paper on a binder clip and hand zero understanding.. til i remember how often school and organization was a reason to punish me physically.

I look to things that comforted me and provided me with my safe space/place (which was the closet and my imagination “ narnia” .. where i hide in silent places..

Sensory deprivation is one of my favorite things..

Remembering as a kid things i did to Be in the zone.. (like drawing, writing poetry or practice Hand writing..

I think it has something to do with nostaglia , a time without the pressures.. and Feeling the last times i felt safe..

Also think there is a correlation between the type of Social Demand/ length/intensity/ without support .. and that correlates to the Amount of time needed to recover.. Duration and intensity that cant exist in the burn out. In my case i was a social worker for CPS.. so not only was it a hard Subjrct but also required doing a lot and not knowing how to ask for help or thought i was….

I been in burnout for nearly three years

I know I know, I’ve experienced it and continue to experience it. And my life long partner experiences it also. But unfortunately does not know or understand it. She probably sees it as a personal fault. Which makes it much worse.

Do families and friends who help and are a support get burned out as well though ?

Thank you. Fabulous video. I'm 54 and just realising I'm autistic. Your work is very helpful. I've been in burnout quite a few times in my life. It used to make me feel hopeless. I've been in therapy for nearly 3 years and I'm doing so much better and now realising I'm autistic I'm finally giving myself permission to be. To take up space in this world. The burnout times have been very sad in my life. I am now gaining so much understanding and I'm able to shape my life better now to meet my needs. Especially as I go into my older years. I've never really allowed myself to make my life convenient for me. I'm doing that now. It's helping lift me out of the current burnout space I'm in, and I've been in for some time.
As I navigate menopause as I do this, I'm realising how very hard it's been in my life. Loads of childhood trauma. I raised my four children basically alone. I really don't know how I did it. With massive lists and hyper vigilance. It's no wonder I'm exhausted now.
Grateful for people like you Kristen. Thank you 💜

This is a great video Kristen!! I just subscribed to your channel!! Im also ND too, and I experience this lots.
Thank you!!

gentler with ourselves… and others. be kind, unwind.

Your voice is so pleasant to listen to

I'm going through burn out right now. I haven't experienced this in a long time but after starting a new job 3 months ago that has a 24 hour roster, no consistent schedule, shifts as long as 18hrs and it is just CONSTANT hands on interaction with people/coworkers I feel exhausted. Even just the learning aspect, I feel like I know nothing and the pressure and responsibility is overwhelming me. I should have seen the signs weeks ago when I started having passive suicidal thoughts and I was too fatigued to do anything after work or on my days off. A big change was just letting the house be dirty which makes me feel worse. I don't feel relaxed in a filthy home. I have struggled with depression too, but this is just different.

So this week I've taken a few days off, I gave myself time to be completely alone and do nothing and then slowly start to integrate chores/Activites. I feel a little guilty despite knowing I'm entitled to paid sick leave. It just got to the point of complete apathy, I just couldn't go in and I just couldn't find the energy to care whether taking leave would reflect poorly or not. I just couldn't do anything at all. I am so glad I've taken days off, I feel rejuvenated and my motivation is slowly returning.

Thanks for your informative video.

I'd like to add as well that level 2 autistics can be very high masking as well. Perhaps our masking, pouring large amount of energy into it, may not make us appear the same as a level 1 putting the same effort into masking – they might "pass" as neurotypical a little more. I'd extend this to level 3 as well, but I dont have personal experience there.
Additionally, many L2/3 autistics may get diagnosed at a lower level due to their masking.
I understand the research is still new, but I'd love to see dialogue on this, and particularly not isolating autistic burnout as something that only happens to L1 autistics, because its simply untrue.

Thanks for the video 🙂

I would love a podcast about Rejection sensitive dysphoria.

I appreciate your review of the research. I have a brain fog and find it difficult to understand what I am reading. I have been in a burnout on and off for several years. I suspect I might be autistic. I am contemplating getting a formal diagnosis.

Super helpful clarifying video! Makes sense for a few of my experiences over the last few years 😊

Wow, amazingly informative! Thank you so much🙏

Again – thank you Kristen. This was a great unboxing of autistic burnout and I agree wholeheartedly. Shutdowns are a consequence of getting to and going through AuBurnout for me. I'm in an astonishing one at the moement and the the most frightening thing for me is the loss of skills like executive functioning and hyperfocus and loss of care for your special interest. In fact losing the ability to mask also is terrifying because you lose protection. Everything take so much longer. The percieved loss of memory and intelligence – I think is just loss of attention and motivation which is the parralell with depression. That is horrifying and I term it the Flowers for Algernon effect in myself.

I've always dealt with burnout in the past by retreating and getting slowly back into special interests – a lot of this is protective and sensory reducing as you mention. Nature really helps a lot of autistics that I've talked to. But I've been very surprised that autistic friendships can have and exceptionally positive effect on leading you through the night. Maybe I'm just lucky with mine but it's worth mentioning.

A very good friend and I wrote a piece on Burn out and Autistic (& ADHD) burnout and followed it up with a piece on dyslexic burnout. It's a huge interest of mine for a few years.

I love doing multiple things. Relaxes me. Then other times, I have to slow down.

I agree regarding research.