How narcissistic parents “misuse” their children

Yes, I was, I realized as an adult, nothing but my mother's stooge. Lol that's what I called it. And for my entire life she'd always had to be mad at someone, or multiple people at a time..I never thought it would be me. Because she played the angle of wanting me to think we were close. I was a little "Carol clone" is what I'd been called by everyone, since a young child. But after the day I snapped because of her crazy behavior, and pushing herself on me, and involving my kids. Well, I will never forget the day. When I apparently just couldn't take anymore. Because it just all flew out of my mouth. Before I could have stopped, even if I'd wanted to I realized. But I did feel bad, because I let her have it! And, I mean really harsh.. but it was all truth, and I had, had all I could take of her trying to control me, and my life. Even my kids, of course. I'm 57, and I started healing things when I was around 38. That were obvious to me, and just take it as I go. Because you'd be surprised, at the things that Pop up out of nowhere, when you think you have it all covered. And I kept having that happen, so now I feel pretty good about it.. Even though she wouldn't see me, and didn't want me, or my brother to even know, when she was dieing. Cut us out of her will. Which didn't bother me in the slightest and, I truly have made peace since. Because I have been I realized, totally surrounded by narcissists my entire life. Except for my grandmother, who was my ultimate protector, and sweet loving support. I miss her her dearly.. but now I'm totally alone, and when my son was killed, my husband died 2 mo. later.. I found out that I had NO one. Literally. And I am okay, because my path is to be in service, and forge new paths here, and to bring heaven on earth. I've known this since a small child. And I am still here, so that's what I will do, until I go home. At this point, I just know that God wants me to continue. And in a bigger way, So divine intervention created, that I had to lose everyone, (that I didn't have anyway).. and everything. To be able to do what I am here to. I never would have let go of everything I had, and moved from my house if it hadn't happened the way it did. And so I wouldn't have been pushed into the space of all the further healing, and letting go, I've been working on since. I am Sorry for writing a novel! I didn't intend on that! Thank you for all you do for so many people!! Brightest Blessings to you

I have no memory in my childhood where I wasn’t used like this by my mother to regulate and fix her emotions.

Man. To. Moch. Tanion.

Yup, I identify with this

There's so much I want to say but can't because it's like a bowl of unsorted spaghetti in my head.

I'm having a really difficult time applying any sort of term to my parent. I am picking up that others know, her siblings. I might be able to go to them. I don't know what to say.

I’m still struggling to “label” my parents as narcissists, but some boxes get ticked. Getting slapped on my discharge date from the hospital where my 2nd son was born kind of has opened my eyes. She was RAGING that day…. I tried to excuse it as a particular trauma, or maybe I did actually do something/say something wrong…… But I’m an adoptee and particularly susceptible to this type of thing, and I can’t unsee that about myself now…

What about the ones that have zero respect for your privacy boundaries? They feel entitled to know my every move. For what? It’s irritating

I recently discovered that there is actually a term for the situation where parents use their children to make them meet their emotional, and sometimes other (financial for example), needs. The term is emotional incest

For me I call it abuse. I feel like the roles were reversed and I have had to be my mother's emotional parent all my life I am 58 and she is 85 and she's still manipulating the hell out of me and I'm so angry all the time! I have no life and have to take care of her as she has congestive heart failure, can't see, hear or walk properly anymore. I am watching and LISTENING to her die in slow motion. Her victimhood is on another level and she's the most negative, complaining person I've ever known. We have opposite personalities and she is so needy and attention seeking. I am strong and independent, but because I've become that way having to parent her. Which 24 year old has to organise their mother's divorce for them, because their father screwed around (which I walked in on by the way at 23 and kept a secret for a year, because I knew my mother wouldn't be able to handle what I witnessed). I am emotionally exhausted and drained and overwhelmed and I wish I had the money to put her in an assisted living facility and walk the hell away. Sorry for my outburst, but I've had enough! I wish this was over, so I could be free and heal and have a life.
Thanks for the video … it made me feel less alone

Everything she said doesn't even break the iceberg of insanity I have endured. But a great vid. Respect.